Let's be honest. Winter sucks. As far as I'm concerned, once Christmas is over it has no relevance in my life. But...I live in Chicago: Mother Nature's designated target for cruel and unusual punishment. She keeps pounding us over and over again. Just when we think we see the light (the actual sun) at the end of the tunnel, she strips it away and drops more snow on top of us. Not only that, but I have never experienced this level of COLD before. And I never want to experience it again. It hurts. It just plain hurts.
Sure there are places up north of here and other parts of the country that claim to be in worst shape than us, but come on...you were asking for it by choosing to live in such a forgettable state in the first place. No offense.
I have no lessons learned from this never ending tundra of a winter. No tips for survival. No cures to beating the winter blues. No motivation to do anything but hibernate.
All I've got for you is my angry list of reasons to hate winter.
1. So. Much. Snow. Sure it's pretty sometimes, but I'm over it. It's piled up everywhere and any beauty it once had is now tarnished with every dog's pee.
2. Traveling is treacherous. I've never had a worse experience at an airport than when we had Chiberia round 1. Flu + flight delays + 50 lb bags + subzero temps + nice but annoying persistent guy trying to make friends with me + crowds of rude people.
Even commuting to work is a huge pain in the ass. Gotta love standing at the bus stop and watch your bus whiz by you because it's already crammed full of people.
3. My dog even hates it. Barrett usually loves the snow and shoving his face into it. He's been second guessing it lately. Between the unbearably cold ground and the clumps of salt spewed all over, he sometimes refuses to go out. I don't blame him. The minute I pull out those hideous purple rubber booties to put on his feet, his expression sags and the whites in his eyes start to show.
4. When your tears and snot instantly freeze to your face and you don't even know it because you can't feel anything anyways.
5. Oh you want to go try a new restaurant in another neighborhood? Screw that. I'm thinking takeout Thai food from the place around the corner.
6. Knowing that what's ahead weather-wise makes it all worth the pain and suffering...until you realize how short lived summer is here and that this hell of a season waits for us again right on the other side.
7. I am the epitome of attractive right now. I don't know how guys aren't lined up at my front door right now for me.
Is it the hair? Am I supposed to actually wash it and style it? Is it the unshaved legs? What, you get to have the extra layer of warmth on your legs but I can't?
8. Frozen pipes. Don't even get me started.
9. Never having a snow day. Screw you public transportation. If you're working, so am I.
10. The only sensation I feel in my big toes when I'm waiting for the bus in the morning is pain. Throbbing pain. I have to take off my shoes when I get to work because I need to hold my big toes to warm them up and coax them not to fall off.
My only saving grace for surviving this beating of a winter is KU basketball. It's pretty much the only reason I'm getting out of bed today. Rock Chalk, fellas. Make it worth my effort.
